


Blues

by Blossomnight



Category: 2NE1, Super Junior
Genre: Break Up, F/M, Happy Ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-12
Updated: 2019-04-12
Packaged: 2020-01-12 03:42:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,801
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18438323
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Blossomnight/pseuds/Blossomnight
Summary: Donghae and Sandara will show you how hurt a Break up is. How they feel after that, how they going through all the painful day without contact each other.





	Blues

Donghae throws his body on the couch; he draws a big sigh. Closing his eyes, and brings some sigh again.  Today was hard for him. Not just because of his schedule. Other things happen. And the hardest part is his relationship. With the Goddess, Sandara Park. They are a friend for ten years. That what people saw and known, but the reality they are a couple. Dating four years after 2NE1 debut, after her banned relationship lifting by Yanggoon.

He has a crush on her since they are not yet an idol. Sandara is his perfect ideal type, his forever goddess. With her is like a dream comes true. He promises himself; he never let her go.

However, these days he lost his confidence. Day by day, he forgets that he ever make that promise. He feels that their relationships are going worst. They keep fight, even for the small thing. He doesn’t know what happens, but he tired with the fight. He tired of feeling insecure, to getting hurt, give the other party only scars. He failed on his love this time.

 

\--

 

Sandara just back from the Philippines, she is at YG’s building, needs to check some of the work as a 2NE1 Public Relations on her desk. However, Instead of working, she only blanks stares on her computer screen. She thinks about what happened yesterday. She got the fight with her boyfriend; cannot count for the umpteenth time this happens. Too often, and getting worst. Slowly the re;relationship become annoying with this and feels tired already just think about it. 

She loves him, and she knows he loves her, but they always end up giving each other scars. She was asking herself, where the love and warm word that they always share. Right now, every time they open their mouth, only pain that they throw and get. Sandara draws a big sigh; closed her eyes. Feel the pain that remains on her heart. She doesn’t know what should she do. 

Donghae is not her first boyfriend, but she always feels like the first. Being with Donghae, be in the relationship with him, feel the love from him are always feel new for her.  She doesn’t want to let it go, nor let him go, but hold onto the relationship that not working is the worst. It’s the biggest dilemma in her life. She doesn’t have the confidence to choose. But she knows, whatever she decides, they both will get hurt.

 

\--  
  


Sandara and Donghae meet at a private restaurant. They happy to see each other but keep it for themselves, something up, they know it, this meeting is not their usual meeting, they feel the tension. They both hate this, but have no other choice. 

“how the Philippines?” Donghae asks coldly. He doesn’t mean to be cold for this woman; it comes so sudden when he remembers what they fight about before.

“hot as usual.” Sandara answer with a flat tone. Try not to look weak or angry.

“As hot as the man you meet there?” Donghae sarcasm, and immediately feel regret. He starts the fight. He already told himself to be patient and talking nicely to her, then now, he throws a tantrum, when he wants to make up his words, Sandara already glared at him. He knows it was late.

Sandara looks at him with disbelieving eyes, cannot believe how this man keeps misdoubt her. She throws the chopstick that she holds. “Do you want to keep doing this? Til when you’ll be this overprotective? You never believe me, aren't you?” Sandara starts feeling her shaking voice.

_“How can I am not overprotective if it is about you”._ Donghae thought 

Sandara look straight at Donghae eyes. “I thought you’ll be sorry for doubt me, that’s why I agree to meet you, I miss you, but every time I feel happy meeting you, we just end up fighting, I love you, so much, but your overprotective killing me day by day, we are an idol, we are an entertainer, why can you understand it? Why are you kept doubt me? Am I not good enough for you to believe me?” Sandara is cracking up, without her realize, his tears keep falling on her cheek, he feels so hurt to hear what Donghae said before. 

Donghae shocked to see her crying, it never happens back, she is a strong woman, he knows it, and now he regrets it, even more, he hurt her more than he exceeds. He doesn’t mean it. He knows that her crying face will never be erased on his memories. Those crying faces bit by bit makes him breathless. He hopes that she stop crying as soon as possible, and the only thing that could prevent that crying is hugging her. But he knows when he hugs her, asking her to stop crying and apologize, in the future it will happen again. He can't give her pain. He wants to end her suffering, and then the next thing Donghae said is something that both part never imagine before.  


“Let’s break up.” 

Sandara didn’t believe what she just heard. She never expects it’ll come this fast. Moreover, it hurt more than he predicts to be. Her heart falls apart. She was telling him that she missed him, loved him. Sandara is crying, show him how it hurt was that he could not believe her, shows him how weak she is, but she only gets that word for replied. He told her to break up. She looks straight at Donghae eyes, hope there is a kidding there, even that word is not supposed to be a joke, she hopes that it was a joke, but that puppy eyes only give her cold, he is serious, and Sandara know it. This situation is real. She draws a sigh, biting her lips, try to hold her tears, for the last time she wants to look stronger. 

“Fine, if you want it,” Sandara said.

Donghae shocked. He a bit hope that Sandara will reject it. He hopes Sandara will plead him that they can start over, But he can not go back, he believes that this is the best for them. They end it. They end their relationship. For a while, Donghae feel like this is just dreams and then in a second, he realizes this is real, and gradually the pain touches him. Slowly killed him inside. 

Sandara grab her jacket, she thought she doesn’t have any reason to stay, so she leaves. Show her back to Donghae. 

Donghae looks at Sandara back, then without he realize it, “noona.” Donghae called her, make her stop. But she doesn’t dare to turn around, she afraid when turns around and looks at him, she will beg him to not break up with her. And she doesn’t want it to happen even she still love him. 

Donghae never know that this noona will be this cold, she doesn’t bother to look back, look at him. He bit his lips,  “I am Sorry, and, I love you.” Donghae said with the warmest voice that Sandara ever heard. Sandara close her eyes, she wants to run toward him and hug him, tell him to forget this meeting, they don’t need to break up. But then he remembers, Donghae that told them to break up, so she leaves the room, leaving Donghae and move their relationship behind, but the pain and love keep on her heart, remain on the same place.

 

\--

 

 

Two months after broke up. 

Sandara walking around on Fukuoka shopping street, she has a business trip there, together with CL and GD, CL already offer to company her, CL worried about leaving her Unnie alone, especially after the worst break up experience, but she refuses, she wants to go alone.

When she was walking around look something cute, she saw something, then suddenly stops and freeze, she saw someone from the opposite direction walking toward her. She keeps blinking, afraid that what she saw is just her imagination because she misses that person so much. But, no matter how many times she blinks, the person he loves still there. He is real and the distance getting closer. It was Donghae. She can not believe how can this happen, she flies to Japan for work, and now she sees him here, especially not at Tokyo but Fukuoka, 13 hours with a car from Tokyo. How could this happen? How can God playing with her heart like this, did He know that she not yet forget Donghae, how did He test her like this, she definitely will fail on this test. She was not ready to meet him so, she walks straight and pretends didn’t see him, she looks at the clothing, pretends to engage with the goods. And praying for the man didn’t recognize her. Didn’t call her name, didn’t think that she exists. The distance is getting closer. Sandara tries not to look so obvious when her heart is racing right now. Thanks for her acting class, she can act well now. Then he was passing her. She then looks at his back. The last time they meet, when they break up, she didn’t correctly see him, and now she wants to satisfy her eyes, she looks at his back until she can not see him again. She draws a big sigh, and without her realize she shed tears, as she expected, she missed him.

 

\--

 

“Why are you pretend didn't see him?” CL is asking confused.

“I am not ready yet to face him.”

“Until when?” CL sighs and looks at her Unnie, “Unnie, you know in our world, we will keep hitting to another artist, especially Super Junior Sunbae-Nim. You can not just avoid him like that...”

“I know.” Sandara was cutting off CL. She throws herself on the bed. She sighs and looks at CL who waiting for her to talk, even Sandara older, she doesn’t have the right to cut the Leader words, it’s breaking their rule. CL takes the chair and sits facing her.

“Sometimes, I ask myself, when will that day come? When I can face him properly, say hi to him as nothing happens. When will I say his name without weird feeling on my heart?” she paused. “Maybe someday I will do that.” she looks at CL with a watery eye “but not today. Believe me! I want to forget him, forget this feeling, forget the memories that we make together. But..” she pause again and bit her lips, makes CL moved,  “I am afraid when I delete him on my memories, I am not myself anymore, even I hate to remember this feeling, feel this pain, even I want to delete him from my brain and heart, I just can not do it. He is part of me. And when I realize he is part of my life before and now, not anymore, I ended up missing him so much, and can not bear the pain of missing him.” Sandara blabber, make CL cannot argue her anymore and then she patted her unnie. She knows just times that can treat the wounds. Nothing she can do, nothing they can do.

 

\--

 

Three months and two weeks after breaking up

 

Sandara is running alongside Hanggang River; she tries to do more exercise lately, especially in the night. Why? She wants to feel tired and sleep after that. She tries to get drunk before, but it makes her feel miserable the next day, and she can not work properly, so this is the new one, she is working out, but these days her body getting used of it and then she back cannot sleep.  However, she keeps doing it, feels calm when the breeze is hitting her. Make her focus on what she does. Makes her forget about Donghae and their break up.

Sandara stop. She sighs, and always doing it whatever she remembers about him. Back then she keeps crying until she cannot breathe, but now, whenever reminds him and feel the pain, Sandara'll stop what she was doing and calm herself, getting used of the pain, but still can not face him. The feelings are more profound than she thought.  When she looks straight, she saw Donghae standing 2 meters ahead. She smiles, here again, her missing feel make her delusional, whenever she missed him, she will look somebody else looks like him. She laughs, feels so stupid, it's been more than three months after they break up, how can she does not yet forget about him. Maybe she needs to see a psychiatrist tomorrow because she keeps saw her ex-boyfriend, and it’ll be a piece of good news for a reporter. Headlines: Sandara Park is meeting the psychiatrist to forget her ex. She laughs aloud when she imagines it. And then that Donghae creatures do not disappear and run toward her, she keeps laughing herself, she thinks that her imagination goes crazy. Then suddenly "that" Donghae creature hugs her. She suddenly stops laughing. Realize this is not her imagination. That Donghae was not her imagination, that was the real Donghae. And that Donghae hugs her, right now.

“oh my God.” She mumbles, and she shed tears. She was missing him so much.

 

\--

 

Donghae, stop his car on the Hanggang Riverside, he wants to take a walk for a while, he wants to get some fresh air after a busy day. He looks around; this side is bleaker than the other, walking without a mask here will not draw attention from people. He knows this side from Eunhyuk, and he is a good adviser for a place like this, she dating more than him.

“I should bring Sandara here before, so many places I want to go with her.” He mumbles for himself. “Oh, what am I thinking? It’s over.” He keeps talking to himself, and he did that, so he doesn’t feel lonely.  

He keeps walking and can not stop thinking about her. Its been more than three months after they break up, how can he does not yet forget about her. He smiles, and believe that she must be a real love for him. He keeps walking, he remembers when seeing her, at Fukuoka, still cannot believe how fate makes fun of him, he sees her, walking around. He knows that Sandara saw him that time, but she pretends not to see him, so he decides to play along with the game, he passed her. After that, he telling Eunhyuk about it and he asks him why he does that, he remembers what his answer is, _“I don’t know my heart, I hurt her. A lot. I feel so sorry and terrible for her, it’s the right choice for us to end all of it, and maybe she wants to delete me from her life, that’s why she pretends to not seeing me that time. You know I love her so much, at the level that I accept all her way to forget me. I don’t know how much I make her cry. So I do what she wants, I passed by, even it's hurt me too, like being cut by a knife, even I want her to know that I miss her, but I just passed her.”_

After thinking again, Donghae feel stupid, why he do that? he chuckles “I should hug her that time.” He is talking to himself again. Then suddenly he stops walking. Two meters ahead, he sees her, Sandara with a training suit, he can not believe her eyes, so shocked that he freezes. Then their eyes meet, she smiles. And he knows that this is real. _The fate is seriously playing with me_ he thought, and then she looks at him again, and this time she laughs aloud, he doesn’t understand what she laughs for, but he misses that smile, that laugh, he misses her so much. And without realizing he runs toward her and the next thing he knows, that woman, a woman that he loves and he lost so much already on her arms. He hugs her.

He closed his eyes, feeling the warms of her body, he was glad to meet her and so glad there are no other people around, still, think to protect her as an entertainer, he doesn’t want people to see both of them hugs in the public place.  He opens his eyes when he feels wet on her shoulder, he knows she is crying. But this time, he glad that she is crying. She shows how painful it was to separate from him. he knows he being egoist but this time, Donghae wants Sandara to know he misses her so much.“Oh my God.” She mumbles and hugs him tighter. That time he knows that she loves him too.

 

*end

  
  
  
  



End file.
